Faux Leather Jacket: Thrifted. Trousers: Pull & Bear Sale. Top: Commes Des Garcons. Bag: Thrifted.
SO, I firstly started Luminous Peach as a way to share with people how I live a healthy lifestyle and fill my shopaholic needs on a budget. However, because of my own selfish needs to express my thoughts, it has also grown into an outlet for me to express thoughts about self-love, self-doubt and everything in between. I hope you don’t mind. If you only want to look at the pictures and enjoy the outfit, please do.
As you will know if you read my blog, I have recently moved to London. I have pursued exactly what I wanted to pursue which is fashion, whilst maintaining a blog, building new relationships and learning everyday a little more exactly how to adult (when I fully figure this out I’ll let you know..).
I was never the most confident kid growing up and actually was a very insecure teenager, dealing with an eating disorder, constantly criticising myself and never feeling good enough, constantly comparing myself to others and basically self destructed for years. I tried many of my own little techniques to lose weight, become ‘prettier’, become ‘skinnier’, more popular…the list goes on. There was never a definitive moment where I decided to change my way of thinking into a more positive one, I guess I just grew up and decided that actually no, I wanted to like myself…and dare I say love myself once and for all.
I guess I wanted to write this post because looking back now on where I was mentally even 5 years ago, I am so SO happy about how far I have come. Moving to a new city, pursuing my dream of working in fashion and meeting new people everyday has solidified to me just how mentally healthy I currently am and hope to continue on this journey (so cliche, I apologise) of self growth and love.
I used to totally dread spending any alone time, as I knew that I would stew in my thoughts of self doubt and criticism. I used to dread showering because I knew that for those 20 minutes or so I would be hating on my body and mentally listing everything I wanted to change about myself. I now look back on that person that I was and feel like I want to give her a big hug and tell her that she IS good enough. I now thoroughly look forward to and relish spending time alone. I LOVE my own company. I love the person who I have become and I love how I have constantly pushed myself in order to become someone that I am proud to be. Physically, I am heavier than that person who I used to be and yet I have never felt more comfortable in my own skin. So bloody what that I am now not on the lowest end of my BMI? Thank fuck that I have developed a healthy relationship with food and that I now actually look after myself and care about what nutrients I put in my body rather than count each calorie to a T and don’t dare eat a bloody nut because it’s too ‘calorific’.
There has recently been a shift in the whole way that social media views body types and thank GOD. It is not a fad or a trend, it is a sign of cultural growth and in term, self growth.
I just wanted to share with you that you should never give up on yourself and that you and only YOU can make those changes necessary to lead a fulfilling, mentally and physically healthy life. One thing that has always stuck with me is ‘only speak to yourself how you would speak to your best friend’. Honestly try it, take note of your inner chat and really tune in. Would you speak to a best friend like that? I hope so.